Lacey Kaye

Today, I became an XS. That’s right - I bought my first ever XS anything. I actually bought three XSs: two tank tops and a running skirt. And to help you understand what a milestone that is, when I first went and bought an official running outfit, I bought the pants, not the shorts. The shorts! Scary! Nope, I got the yoga pants and matching long-sleeved jacket. The jacket, especially, smoothed out the unsightly bulges created by the super-tight tank.

The tank has been getting looser every week, and Seattle finally decided to warm up enough that I’m dying out there in my pants. But wear shorts? Never! To even think! Ack!

I had another problem. I’m for Florida and then San Francisco and then Vegas, and I have no summer gear. In fact, I own thirty suits and almost nothing else. (I’ve been slowly increasing my going-out wardrobe, but it’s hard because I’m so picky.) Today I made the “mistake” of walking into Target, telling myself I would just look. Just a peek…it couldn’t hurt, right?

Well, Target has TONS of shorts right now. And I own exactly 0 pairs of shorts. Make that owned. I start my foray amid the racks of board shorts, which have long, tube-like legs, and then go for the narrower yet still long Bermuda shorts. I stay far, far away from the hot pants. The kind I used to wear back in high school. The kind Jessica Simpson has pretty much cornered the market on.

Let’s backtrack for a moment, shall we? When I went to college, I gave all my short shorts to my brother’s girlfriend. That was almost 10 years ago. I’ve missed them ever since, but seriously. When was I ever going to wear them again? They look like doll clothes, and I don’t even own any long shorts. I’m pants all the way. But just before I started working out last  year, I mean really, really hard, I realized something. I realized two things, actually. The first was that *I’d* given her those shorts. Me. As an adult. As in, today I look at her and I think, “No way.” But at some point, I was that thin. Because I gave her those shorts she looked so great in at Christmas. Cue motivation alert.

The other thing I realized, as I’ve said somewhere here before, is that the guys at work think the picture of my mom on my desk is totally hot. They also usually think it’s me in high school. Hehehehe. So I realized, wait a minute. If I could lose the weight, I could potentially look as cute as my mom.

Which brings me back to today. To date, I’ve lost almost 30lbs. It’s been a slow loss, but it’s come with life changes, so I’m happy to be patient. Even if it’s slow, it’s entertaining*, and that’s skipping all the mind-bending shenanigans that have gone on in my head while coming to grips with the changes in my self-esteem. Although, mind-bending shenanigans are probably what prompted me to try on the tiny shorts in the first place.

* pause here to say I have thoughts on this; expect a blog post about it on Thursday at manuscriptmavens.com

Ok, it’s not entirely true mind-bending shenanigans melted my sense of self-preservation, but it’s really, really, really close. What didn’t hurt is that the dressing room had a 360 degree mirror, and I happened to catch a glimpse of myself from the rear. And after staring for several long seconds, I concluded…hey…it’s not so scary back there anymore.

Must be all the running. I’m up to 10 miles a week.

So THEN I tried on the shorts. And then I screeched and did a happy dance. And then I promptly bought a pair in every color, and a sexy shirt to match. Now all I must needs do is locate my wily nemesis, as my powers of enchantment grow stronger every day.

MUAH HA HA HA HA

Yesterday, I was chatting with a new acquaintance of mine, trying to nail down a mutually agreeable time we could meet up to play some pinball. Now, this person is notorious for no call / no show, so I wanted to be *sure* the time was agreeable. I didn’t stop to wonder why I needed to know this person would show. To me, that was obvious. It’s why they’re called plans. You know, you plan them, and then they happen. Work the plan. Any changes to the plan need to be communicated in a timely fashion, to all parties, and should certainly be kept to a minimum. After all, changing the plan confuses people. It’s frustrating. And if you can’t look forward to what you’re going to do at the end of the week, what’s the point of going out on Friday, anyway? I mean, that IS the point, right? Good times will be had by all. You know it for a fact.

Never say there could be another point of view.

Are there people who actually thrive on not knowing what their Friday night will hold?

Apparently.

Who are they?

People *I* know?

I don’t think so…

My friend IMed back: Never make (P)lans with a (P)erceiver!

I IMed back: What is this crazy talk?

What I got in response sort of annoyed me. Nobody wants to think of herself as a (J)udger. How terribly unflattering.

So I googled it, having heard of the Myers Briggs assessment before, even if it didn’t trip up instant recognition at the first mention. (I even wrote a blog about it a year ago.) Now, I’ve taken other types of assessments at work, as requirements for certain group projects. (See blog above.) I know my type. And no, it’s not always flattering. But it’s me and it makes sense to me and the rest of you…stop being so scatter-brained!

Well, being the type of person I am, I never really read through any of the other possible assessment outcomes. (And literally, that fits perfectly with the type of person I am.) Imagine my surprise when I read up on Perceivers. What craziness is this? People who don’t wear watches!? People who thrive on chaos? People who celebrate their ability to generate creative ideas but shirk the responsibility of implementing them?! People who don’t like to make plans way in advance, for fear of limiting their options as things come up?

That’s insanity.

Or is insanity someone like me repeatedly trying to get someone like that to behave in the same way I expect myself to behave? Being the type of person that I am (and yes, this is in the type description nearly verbatim), having gained this new insight, I immediately revised my expectations so as to avoid generating the same unwanted outcome in the future. And, naturally, I phoned a friend to discuss. Because being the type of person I am, I like to talk my issues out, not sit alone with them and percolate.

Which basically started a flurry of interpersonal assessments that resulted in my reading a few other possible outcomes. You know, the ones I never had any interest in before. (Why? Well, if you guessed that perfectly matches my personality type…you’re probably paying attention ) All this reading up on various personality types — ones that are eerily, freakily close to reality; so much so it’s hard to believe anyone was able to nail down my and my friends’ psychosis in so few words — made me think about those authors who swear by Sun books or Sign books or that one book with all the hero / heroine combinations, whose name I can’t remember (and as my personality type, don’t care enough to look up because I trust someone else will supply the minutia). I’ve clearly never cracked one open before. I never thought I needed to. I mean, I’ve known enough people in my life to paint a few personality traits, right?

Or is that just my personality type talking? The one that says I can see the big picture, so why stress myself with the details? Or is getting the combination of your character’s personality too much like having the answers to the test — is it cheating to be able to conceive of how their internal clockwork ticks if you haven’t even had a chance to get to know them yet?

YOUR TURN: Have you or do you use a personality book to help you craft your characters? Have you taken a Myers Briggs assessment (or other assessment), and if you have, were you surprised — or freaked out — by the results? Have you and your spouse / significant other / close friend ever taken a test together? Are you a judger or a perceiver?

Just before Christmas this past year, I bought two sexy little spencers. (A spencer, for those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, is a tiny, cropped, jacket-like top girls wear over tank tops. It cuts just under the bust line and may or may not meet over the navel with a button or snap.)

Two sexy little spencers that did *not* close at their respective buttons. The sales girls watching me try on these spencers assured me a spencer was not required to close. They suggested I buy the size that fit across the shoulders and wear it open. Even if it didn’t close, it still accomplished its purpose, which in my case was to draw attention away from my shoulders and focus it on the middle of my chest while smoothing out the hour glass line of my waist.

So I did, and I wore them, proud I’d finally defeated the fashion god who strove to keep me out of such trendy accessories by refusing to make them in my size.

And then today, after months of letting them hang in my closet because it was simply too cold to wear them, I took one out. Put it on. Realized…hey…I think the button over here actually might just reach the hole over there.

With baited breath, I brought the two ends together and…

The girls lied. These particularly cut jackets were definitely meant to close.

So if you’re wondering why I missed the book signing tonight, it’s because I decided this is a gain I’d like to keep. It’s a workout day. Next stop: bikini?

Number of pounds lost since last week: 1

Number of additonal lost pounds needed to meet second milestone: 1

Number of new outfits purchased to celebrate approaching milestone: 6

Number of new hairstyles: 1

Number of colors in new hairstyle: 2

Number of people who requested Lacey’s digits this weekend: 2

Number of people who used that number to call Lacey: 1

Number of times Lacey answered: 0

Number of new experiences in LaceyLand: 2

Number of new experiences that shall never be repeated: 1

Number of new scenes in VHM: 1.5

Number of scenes consisting solely of IM dialogue: 1

Number of new hotties spotted: 1

Number of new hotties coming up with lame excuses to invite Lacey out to lunch: 1

It’s been a good few days.

Of course you already know Maven Darcy finaled in the Golden Heart. (There’s really only a very few ways to top that: Sale, Rita Finalist, NYT List, and death.)

In my arena, things are pretty hectic. I was going to lie and say fabulousity, but I don’t have enough time to come up with a suitable lie. I’m prepping for Maven Erica and Darcy’s arrival at the end of the week and to say I’m looking forward to them coming up would be the understatement of my year.

I’m also working on some things that are non-writing related, but if I told you about them I would have to kill you. And I like you. I think. But trust they are the sort of thing one does not put on the internet until after the bets are off. Bets are not off…bets are still going strong.

In other, other news, I’m having a birthday countdown party this weekend. Friday will make it 3 months and 56 days until my birthday. Clearly, it is time to have a party. Does the fact that Maven Erica demanded to meet all of my work friends have anything to do with the happy hour I’ve planned for 86 of my closest peers? Nah…

I will keep you updated.

What fun thing do you have for us to look at today, Lacey? It’s what I always thought music videos were until I actually saw one. I’ve never understood why most music videos don’t tell the story of the song they’re representing. Of course, this isn’t really a music video, but it’s cute. Oh, and I’m posting this because it’s “about” my brother and his dorky friends. Don’t you love little brothers?

How did your workshop go, Lacey? I’m so glad you asked! It was great. I had super, super fantabulous people in there and we came up with some fun fixes to chronic issues. I made at least 12 new friends and had way too much fun after work. (Read: any excuse to go out is a good excuse)

How is your running/working out going, Lacey? Even better! After I clocked in at a mere 20 minutes last week (and yes, I am aware a 10-minute mile is hardly something to write home about, but it’s *my* 10-minute mile and I know how difficult it was for me to get there), I knew I had to increase the distance or increase the difficulty. After all, the benefit isn’t in running fast, but in creating an extended increased heart rate (30 min or more). Because there aren’t any good hills to run up in the first 2 miles past my house, I opted for distance. But just another quarter mile and I will have no choice but to take a pretty serious incline. Baby steps!

Yoga is going well. I am this close to keeping my heels on the floor in downward facing dog. I can finally maintain plank pose the entire duration and! I can lower myself to the ground by increments, which is a huge, huge milestone for me. My arms are definitely looking better but they have more room for improvement than just about anywhere else.

I also noticed two or three weeks ago that my neck is thinner. How did I notice? My safety glasses keep falling off! I might actually have to get a lanyard or something dorky like that. *sigh* I suppose I shall get over it.

In more personal achievement news, for those of you who are paying attention to the Mavens’ blog (and that is every last one of you, right?!), I used this weekend to test out some more of The Book (as I refer to it). You may have noticed that last week I failed to execute on the first tenent of The Book: thou shalt dress like a sexy vixen and own it. I decided to remedy that this weekend, mostly by buying way too many pairs of pants at Mariposa. But along with those pants (I love, love love that my legs no longer look like an hour glass; give me a minute to savor the victory, eh?), I also bought two items of note. One is a black A-line skirt that hits 3 or 4 inches above the knee (yes, ABOVE! Because there are no elephant knees to hide!) and the other is a glittery teal contraption with a sexy point just below one hip.

What’s so special about the shirt? Well, at least a month ago (before the Rose City Conference…when was that?), I was at my favorite store, Mariposa (sensing a theme with my shopping? oh, and did you miss me and my parenthetical comments or what!?) and I really wanted this same teal shirt. They didn’t have teal in an XLG, so I tried it on in red. It was ok but not as stunning as I wanted it to be (mostly because I was 10 pounds heavier). I follow the What Not to Wear rule about not buying clothing that doesn’t fit right, so I sighed and left without it. The pain!

But this weekend, they had the teal shirt in an XLG and I tried it on and the angels started singing AND it was 50% off the original price AND I had to have it! So I snatched it up and shook glitter all over my friend’s place and it was totally worth it to stun my friends with a new look. Aiyeeeee!

And once again, the book was right. Not that it takes a PhD to tell me that hot clothes + hot attitude = hot, because I knew that. What I needed to know was how to get into that hot attitude. It’s not an easy thing to find inside yourself.

And if you want to giggle at something stupid I did, keep reading: the friend I went out with last weekend (of ditz fame) mentioned off-hand to the guy she’d met that night (and was apparently out on a first date with on Saturday, go her) that I had mentioned to her that I’d written a blog about our prowl. Which he then became determined to read, so they pulled it up on her crackberry and read it together. Luckily, he has a sense of humor (I did really like him when we met him, and he has a great name…I may just steal it one of these days). Luckily, she has a sense of humor, too. If anything, I gather they were disappointed I wasn’t more specific about our little adventure. What can I say, GM? This is a family blog. Most of the time.

So, Lacey, with all this vixenating, how do you find time to write? I’m glad you asked! As you can imagine, finding time is hard. The bad news is that it’s not time I need so much as the right mindset. My life feels very fast right now. Go to work, come home, exercise, sleep, go back to work. When I can, I unwind with friends. But I am just as determined as ever to be as successful in writing as I am with everything else, and I do blindly believe I can do anything I set my mind to doing.

With that in mind, I have decided to return to VHM, the novel. It was a pretty easy decision. RTR is a huge book with a huge plot and lots of great, angsty romance. VHM is a lighthearted satire about my own experiences as a twenty-something Seattlelite. I am pretty sure I can wrap my mind around it with a lot less transition than I need to get into RTR, plus I don’t have to spend lots of time researching or angsting over research. (Not that I don’t like research, but I am a firm believer in lowering your goals to an achievable level, and right now a heavy book like RTR is not in my cards.)

Goals, did someone say goals? I’ve updated my goals for Feb and March on the Goals page. I’d been meaning to get around to it but this month (and last month) flew by. April is primed and ready for action. How do you plan to tackle it?

2 miles in 20 minutes. Finally. Workshop report out tomorrow.

Possibly, the two are linked?

Gonna be a great Friday. Hope yours is, too.

Just got some fan mail. Fan mail is a fun two-way street, isn’t it? She was amused I wrote her back, and I was highly amused she wrote me at all. Thanks for the shout out, P! You put a smile on my face.

Know what else puts a smile on my face? New clothes. Know what puts a HUGE smile on my face? New clothes in a smaller size.

Yep, last week I went into Target after my hair appointment (Erin did a fab job! Love the back, especially!) even though I knew it was a dangerous place. But I limited myself to one necessity and one splurge. The necessity: I got the *cutest* workout clothes. They’re a robin’s egg blue/smoky gray combination and they match my new running shoes perfectly. I feel so professional now! And yes, this was a treat for me because I’ve been sticking with it. I’m finally out of my old sweats/t-shirt/holey shoes. Stuff that made me feel, well, not professional. Not committed. (If you’re curious, I also dress up for work even though it’s not required or even asked of me. I absolutely believe in the old saying I’m going to mash up here: be the way you want other people to perceive you.)

Anyway, the double-bonus of my new clothes is, as I said, they are smaller. I got my usual sizes and then I picked up sizes Smaller and Much Smaller, just because I hate getting into the dressing room and finding out I need to go back out. For giggles, I decided to try on the much smaller stuff first. And it fit!

To compare:

In 2 months of running 3 times a week for 30 min and doing yoga/pilates 3-4 times a week for 20-40 min, I went from an XXL shirt to a L, an XL jacket to a Medium, and size 14 pants to a very trim 12.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

For the record, I am heavily motivated by my Shape magazine. I prioritize reading the new issues when they come. I especially like the “success stories” feature. I noticed most people who’ve lost 100+ pounds and kept it off for years and years have done it using the basic workout I listed above. They also swear by the trick I told you about last week, where you aim for losing just 1 tiny little pound a week.

It’s trickled outside of just stretching and walking the dog, too. Last night, I had a blast watching KC’s brother’s band play. I haven’t danced that much in….well, maybe never. I could tell I had a lot more energy, and other people in the bar apparently noticed, too. Not that they could compare me with old me, but people kept coming up and saying I looked like I was having fun. Lupe and I were the first ones out on the floor and I was one of the last people to leave. ROCK ON!!

(And I went wearing my splurge outfit, in case you were keeping track. Note for those of you who don’t live in the NW: I bought a “summer” jacket. It’s the first summer jacket I’ve ever purchased. I am highly amused to own a summer jacket. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M SAYING? I bought a jacket to wear in the summer. When most of you will be sweating off your June, July, August, and September, I will be wearing my summer.jacket.

Seriously.)

Right now, I’m sitting on the floor in my living room playing with my storyboard (and wearing my summer jacket, since my condo is freezing even with the heat cranked up). Can’t wait to share all the awesome changes going on!  What have you been up to?

What you’ll need:

• One afternoon & about $60
• Covered cat litter box (ensure there’s enough flat space on the back to mount a 5″ fan)
• Dryer vent installation kit
• 120mm case cooling fan
• Sheet of medium density fiberboard (we used 1/8″x2′x4′ with a white finish)
• DC adapter with power cord
• Someone who can splice cords
• Acrylic sealant
• Electrical tape
• Jigsaw
• To install a dryer vent in your wall (instead of your window) you may need permits

What Matt did:

First he used the jigsaw to cut a hole for the dryer vent. You’ll see there’s a stiff metal cylinder that comes in the kit and is meant to attach the vent to your dryer. He fit that in the hole and clamped the vent around it (included). Then he used acrylic sealant to fill in the gaps and make the attachment as air-tight as possible.

On the inside of the hood he used nuts and bolts to attach the case cooling fan. Note the fan itself is slightly larger than the dryer vent - be sure to attach the vent first, so your hole isn’t too big.

The vent kit comes with an outside cover. First Matt measured the MDF to fit the height of our window. Then he bolted the cover to the MDF and fit the vent over the attach points.

The board is flexible, so with gentle pressure you should be able to get it to pop into the track and create a mostly-perfect fit.

Our window slides side-to-side so he wedged a composite post into the track for safety.

Next you need to power the fan. Because it’s meant for a computer, it won’t have the right plug. You’ll need to splice a DC adapter.

Fun with science.

As you can’t see, the litterbox is connected to the window over my desk. The armoire to the right holds all my clothes. I trust this thing!

A set of curtains and you won’t even know it’s there.

Matt would love to see improvements on this device! Send your pictures to lacey at laceykaye.com

First, IT’S HERE! Christmas Christmas Christmas! Yaaay! Now where’s my presents? /Lacey looks around…

Very nice. Verra, verra nice. All right, I admit at this point I still have no idea what I’m getting, but I’m sure it’s great. After all, it’s CHRISTMAS! My favorite winter holiday, after the actual physical solstice. (Can you say longer days? I sure can!)

Now, where were we?

Oh, yes. Blog fix. Well, if you’re needing more than my childish exuberance to start your day (perhaps you’re having a mug of hot coffee before the chaos commences), then do I have a treat for you! Pop on over to Romantic Inks and relax with A Writer’s Christmas, which my dear friend and critique partner, Darcy Burke, has been kind enough to share.

Merry Christmas!